// HAPPENING TODAY
- Amazon’s new Fire phone goes on sale.
- SysAdmin Appreciation Day.
- Pizza Hut is driving a fully functional Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pizza thrower around Comic-Con.
Amazon Shares Dropping Like a Wounded Drone
How long are Amazon’s shareholders willing to live without profits? Not much longer. Amazon shares slipped deep into the mud today, falling 12 percent in early trading as investors came to terms with the larger-than-expected loss the company reported Thursday. Evidently, Amazon’s disregard for its bottom line is becoming an issue for shareholders, who for years were willing to ignore its compulsive overspending as long as it fueled breakneck top-line growth. Certainly, few seem to be paying much heed to Amazon CFO Tom Szkutak’s “we have a long-term view” assurances today. There’s a point at which “We’re not trying to optimize for short-term profits” begins to read as disdain for shareholders, and Amazon may have reached it yesterday.
That’s Why Bezos Gets the Big Bucks
BGC Partners analyst Colin Gillis on Amazon: “It’s hard to have $20 billion in revenue and not make any money. It’s a real feat.”
Hear That? It’s Comcast CEO Brian Roberts Laughing His Ass Off.
Ken Florance, VP of content delivery at Netflix: “I will make Netflix content magically show up wherever. In exchange, [ISPs] should provide the network your subscribers are paying for.”
But I Was Planning on Going as Privacy Invasion Man!
Excerpt from Comic-Con’s convention policies: “Remember recording of footage on the screens during panels is prohibited. This includes Google Glasses. You cannot wear Google Glasses during footage viewing in any program room. If your Google Glasses are prescription, please bring a different pair of glasses to use during these times.”
“Only Apple Could Deliver This Kind of Innovation …”
A pedestrian commenting on Jimmy Kimmel’s iWatch, a $20 Casio watch with an Apple logo on it: “I just like the Apple logo on the back. If it’s Apple, it’s good, right?”
Patent Lawsuits Take a Heavy Troll
James Bessen, Harvard Business Review: “Research shows that patent trolls cost defendant firms $29 billion per year in direct out-of-pocket costs; in aggregate, patent litigation destroys over $60 billion in firm wealth each year.”
Just Rename It “The Little Richard” and Move On …
The Hollywood Reporter: “Hewlett-Packard has settled a trademark infringement suit regarding the name of a penis-measurement app sold in its app store. Ernest Evans, the singer-songwriter who performed as Chubby Checker, sued HP last year for selling the app under the punning title The Chubby Checker.”
Not So Fearsome Now, Are We, Feathersaurus Rex?
Paleontologist Stephen Brusatte: “I think that the common ancestor of dinosaurs probably had feathers, and that all dinosaurs had some type of feather, just like all mammals have some type of hair.”
Angela Ahrendts Forgot to Fill Out Her TPS Report
ifo Apple Store: “For the first time in recent history, Apple’s announcement of its quarterly financial results did not include details about the retail stores, and a one-hour conference call made absolutely no mention of the chain at all.”
Let No Man Unlock His Phone, Save He That Has the Mark, or the Name of the Beast
Motorola: “Made of super thin, flexible materials, based on VivaLnk’s eSkinTM technology, each digital tattoo is designed to unlock your phone with just a touch of your Moto X to the tattoo, no passwords required.”
You Know What Would Be a Great Name for an Inductive Charging Standard? “Colbert.”
Stephen Colbert: “I wish there weren’t any cables. … I think charging cables on anything are terrible. I wish I could walk into my house and things would charge, or that I could have a subscription service to a charging system, and anywhere I went in the United States there’d be a charge that would follow me around.”
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